A man becomes a real man after he loses his father. A father becomes a real father as his children grow up. Fatherhood is accompanying your kids’ journey as they walk through life.
I’m married. We have three grown up daughters. When I was a child one of my biggest dreams was having a family with lots of children. For me, a large family was the taste of life. I still feel the same. My parents got divorced when I was fifteen. And mychildhood is not full of sweet memories, unfortunately. That made the family factor even more valuable for me.
My husband comes from a large family. When we met each other, because of our individual journeys in life, we were not so prepared to build a family and have children. We had a lot to learn. As you know life is not always built upon plans, so we spontaneously got married and gave start to a family, willing to do a great job, but without knowing how to accompolish.
The most thing I appreciate about my family is that we very much like to learn. As our kids grew up, we had to change ourselves a lot. We tried to listen to our children and behaved willingly for change, and sometimes we were strictly forced to learn. But in the end, looking backwards, I can say that we managed to become a family. That puts a big, colorful smile on my face.
A father is tremendously important in a daughter’s life
Since my father was a soldier and had a childhood in really hard conditions, he was not able to show his feelings easily. We’ve never exchanged emotions. Today I understand that he really loved us. He was behaving the way he learned. I can not blame him for being this much tough. I’m sure that he was doing his best. After living in a different city for years, I came back to my hometown in order to be closer to him and find ways to deeper conversations.
My husband’s father was also a hard person for his children. It’s been twenty years since he passed away. His life was not easier, either. My husband misses his father so much and he is so sad that he didn’t have chances to get closer to him. We acknowledge our parents to be right as we get older and wiser, having our own experiences and understanding them better.
And so we are now with our own children. We became parents. Although we did not want to make the same “mistakes” with our fathers and mothers, we had times our children claimed us being insensitive to them. Parenthood should be taken seriously in the sense you should always be open to learning and you should be able to keep calm and open hearted.
I want to thank my husband for his fatherhood
I can see that he learned a lot throughout the way. He has love for his daughters deep in his heart and he learned to show his feelings. He talks a lot with his daughters and supports them for their individual journeys. I notice he can not sleep if one of them is in trouble. He does not close the phone notifications or alarms at nights, since one of our daughters started a school in another city years ago. He is deeply afraid if his daughters can’t reach him in times of trouble. First I thought that this was obsession, but now I understand that this is fatherhood.
Just as his father, he does not like to eat out, he wants to bring whatever good or delicious to home and share with his children. Yes, still. I like this old-fashion fatherhood, it’s very valuable for me.
We are in Covid-19 days now and sharing much more time with our children. Our “daddy” cooks our meals, does the shopping, organizes home life while I’m working from home. Taking care of our cats is also his duty. He started charcoal drawing and is doing a good job. He also writes poets. I like to watch him sitting in the balcony and drawing while I’m working on the other side of the window. Since we ‘re spending most of our time at home, working in our cosy corners in peace and joy and then gathering during the meal times or other common occasions gives me the sense that we managed to become a family.
Dear “daddy”, thank you for being this much open hearted. You’re always willing to learn and standing like a mountain. Happy Father’s Day!
